Tag: Love (Page 7 of 7)

A Letter to the Church

Saint Paul writing

*I originally wrote this post in 2014, but for some reason unpublished it. I'll eventually go back and update it a little, but it's still what I desire for myself and my people.

Letters to Christians

If you’re familiar with the New Testament you know that it is separated into a number of different book groups. The largest one of those groups is called the Epistles. Epistle is just a fancy word for a letter that is intended to provide instruction. Books like 1st & 2nd Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, James (complete list HERE) are all actually letters that Apostles of the early Church (i.e. Paul, Peter, James, John, Jude) wrote to various Christian churches and new converts to the Christian faith. Here’s the thing I want to point out about these letters; they were all written to Christians, whether individually or as a congregation, to address issues that did not reflect the character of Jesus. Not one letter was addressed to unbelievers. That little piece of knowledge should turn your head. Think about the issues that these letters address: sexual sin, drunkenness, gossip, lying, coarse talk, and the list goes on. These were sins that the Apostles saw CHRISTIANS participating in and were written as an appeal to get them to stop.

These letters were not written to Christians as a means for them to use as ammunition to call out unbelievers’ sin. The contrary is actually true. These letters were written to instruct Christians how they’re to follow Jesus, so that we are able to live a life glorifying to God. The Epistles were written as a means for calling out the sin in the Christian’s life. Collectively these letters are God’s manifesto to the Christian Church; His public declaration for His intent for how we’re to live our life. This does not excuse us from not calling sin what it is, sin. That’s necessary and good, but we should take care of where we direct that message. The first place it should be directed is toward the Church. Sunday morning sermons that preach that adultery is a sin should be directed at believers so that those believers that might be engaged in that can be drawn by the Holy Spirit to repentance and restored to God. Telling someone who doesn’t believe in God that they are breaking the heart of God is an exercise in futility. It may work occasionally, but more often than not, it won’t.

This also doesn’t eliminate our ability to complete The Great Commission; in fact, it frees us to become more fully engaged in the work of it. In making disciples, we are creating followers that are willing to be subject to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and accountable to Christian brothers and sisters. Jesus said that the world’s sin is their unbelief in Him. When we preach Christ and Him crucified, telling the world who Jesus is and what He did for us, we’re placing the knowledge in the unbeliever, which is necessary for the Holy Spirit to come and convict them of their unbelief. Then and only then are their hearts open to God’s call to righteousness. Only when someone becomes a follower of Jesus are they subject to the writings and teachings of the Apostles.

Again, this doesn’t eliminate our ability to preach or witness. In Acts 2, when Peter gave the very first sermon of the new Church, his entire recorded message revolved around who Jesus was and how the Jews’ unbelief resulted in His death, but how it was all ultimately part of God’s redemptive plan. Then he wrapped up his sermon by saying, “So let everyone in Israel know for certain that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, to be both Lord and Messiah!” Then told the crowd to repent of their sin (that was their unbelief in Jesus as the Messiah) and do you know what happened? “Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day—about 3,000 in all.” Not those that stopped getting drunk. Not those that stopped being sexually immoral. Not those that stopped lying or being selfish, prideful. Those that believed were saved. They repented of their sin of unbelief and were saved. No doubt there was work that the Holy Spirit had to do in them, but they had become disciples, followers, of Jesus and were willing to (hopefully) live according to what He taught.

So here’s my letter to the church…

To the Saints of God, called to righteousness by His Holy Spirit and saved by our LORD, Jesus Christ, may His grace and mercy be on you.

Learn what it means to really love God. Spend time with Him in fellowship. Allow Him to draw you to His side and cultivate your relationship with Him. Become accountable to His written Word, who is Jesus, and let Him sink deep into your heart. Be committed to growing with Him.

Learn what it means to really love others. Spend time with them in fellowship. Draw close to the hurting and abandoned. Feed the hungry. Give water to those that thirst. Clothe the naked. Visit and comfort the impoverished and imprisoned. Don’t just say you love others; show others that you love them.

Learning what it means to really love God and really love others happens inside of a community of other faithful and loving believers. So love each other, this is how the world will know we belong to Jesus. Spend time in fellowship with each other. Serve each other.  Draw close to each other. Be accountable to each other as you’re each accountable to The Word. Be committed to growing with each other.

Call sin what it is inside of your community; be hard on it and merciful with each other. Be forgiving. Stop trying to hold people who don’t know Jesus accountable to our credo. Instead, let the focus of our witness be who Jesus is and what He did for us so that the world would believe in their Savior. Then when they believe, invite them to learn with you.

I’ll end my letter with the words that Paul ended his letter to the church in Ephesus.

Peace be to the brothers [and sisters], and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.

I Love You; I’m Just Not IN Love with You.

Used from http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/theoverdose/500776/This is probably one of the most common excuses for ending most relationships in our culture. “I’m not IN love anymore” is a ready-made answer for ending a relationship that no longer lives up to what entertainment tells us love should look, or rather feel like. I readily confess that I’m 100% guilty of this in the past.

On the surface it seems pretty reasonable. Why would you continue to pursue a relationship when you’re no longer in love with the other involved party? Unfortunately, being “in love” with someone and loving someone are two completely different things.

Recently I had a friend tell me this about his wife. We were able to talk about it a little and I suspect (and hope) that there might be more, but it got me thinking a lot about what it really means when someone says this.

Without mincing words, here are the two truths that occurred to me about when someone says it.

1)   They may not feel the same “IN love” feeling anymore, but they also don’t actually love the other person either.

2)   That statement is solely based on and grounded in selfishness.

Before I move on, let me clarify. There is nothing wrong with being “in love”. It’s a wonderful affair. It’s the most amazing convergence of feeling like you might die and feeling like you could live forever. I loved the feeling of falling in love with my wife. But, the “in love” feeling becomes a negative thing when we use it as an excuse to dismantle a union that you promised to honor. Of course I’m mainly addressing marriage here, but, to be clear again, if you’re dating and haven’t yet uttered those three little words (not “Pass the queso”, still important, but not those) then take care to be sure that you are actually willing to commit to what it means to actually love that person. Then if you choose to end it, pre-marriage, be honest with them and tell them, “You don’t make me feel the way you used to and I’m not ready to be in a relationship where loving another person is all about them.” It might sting more, but at least it’s honest.

Now, back to the lecture at hand; here’s why I came to the two conclusions that I did.

Truth #1

“In love” is a feeling, although it’s probably more of a collection of feelings, but nonetheless still a feeling. The feeling of “in love” is meant to draw and connect us to another person with the purpose of promising them our commitment to love only them. Because “in love” is a feeling, it can shift and is no more sustainable than feeling excited. “In love” is like a striking a match; it flickers with the breeze and is easily blown out. It’s sole purpose is to light the flame of mature love that isn’t subject to the whims of the elements. Mature love has weathered trials and is hardened like steel by the flames of difficulty. It exists regardless of waxing and waning feelings. It is a love that decides to stay because it’s rooted in more than feelings.

Since “in love” is a feeling, when you say that you love someone, but you’re not in love with him or her, only part of that statement is true. It is true that you no longer feel in love, it isn’t sustainable; you probably started to not feel in love a long time before you voiced it. But what isn’t true is that you actually love them. If you did actually love someone, how he or she makes you feel would be less important than doing the work to mature the relationship. I don’t mean to make it sound easy; it surely isn’t. Marriage is probably (for most people anyway) the one thing that they’ll have to work at harder than anything else, ever. If you love someone then you keep the promise and put in the work. If your marriage is based on feeling in love, then you probably misunderstand what love really is.

Truth #2

When you make love all about how you feel and you’re willing to end it when it doesn’t feel the way you want it to, you make love completely about you and entirely eliminate the other person from the equation. That’s selfishness. Genuine love is always about the other person. We all know the scripture verse John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only some…” so the WE could be saved. He, God, GAVE for US. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)  Love gives.

I’m not saying that you can’t want to feel love. We are made t give and receive love. We are creatures of love. I hope and pray that we all get to feel loved, but feelings aren’t useful for determining how we love others. Genuine love is always about the other person, regardless of feeling. That’s mature love.

heart

I’ll close with this quote from C.S. Lewis in his book Mere Christianity

“Ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

What does love mean to you?

2 Things Your Love Can Do Without

loved people

Love is a dangerous and strange thing. Love will dismantle you in a moment and restore every part of you in that same moment.

Throughout history love has been attached to both epic tragedy and extravagant joy.  In the name of love we are willing to do things that we never dreamed. For instance, I love my wife so much I willingly endure temperatures in our home that are on par with the outer boundaries of hell because she’s cold… even in the summer. What can I say, love does. Love is the great influencer. As dangerous and strange as love is, it is also the safest and most familiar place you can reside. We’re built for love, to give and receive it.

Being that God is love and He desires to have us as His beloved, it follows that we are created to receive that love and extend it to others.  Thankfully many Christians know this to be their call (or at least they understand the basis of it). I’m beginning to hear people all over the church saying that we’re called to love others, and that’s a great thing. What I’m worried about is the fact that I hear a lot of other stuff attached to it.

One of the most common things that church people say is, “I hate the sin, but I love the sinner.”  My response to that, after fighting back the urge to laugh and cry at the same time, is always, “No you don’t.”  Please understand, I’m not laughing at the person; I know they’re well intentioned when they say it, because I was when I said it.  I’m laughing at the notion that hate and love can exist in the same sentence.  “Hate the sin, but love the sinner” is found NOWHERE in the bible.  The idea for that saying isn’t even in the Bible. It wasn’t even part of Jesus’ teachings in any way.  Jesus did say “Love God and love others” and He did also talk about dealing with “the speck” (or sin) in your brothers eye, but not for the purpose that we use them. When we use that scripture to call out someone else’s sin we disregards the fact that Jesus first said deal with the plank (in other words, huge board.  I mean, the guy was a carpenter, so I’m sure He was pretty solid on what a plank of wood looked like) in your own eye.  The point was, deal with the huge amounts of sin in your own life, before you ever deal with the small sin in your BROTHER’S life. The key to that whole passage of scripture is brother. Jesus was talking about dealing with the sin of other believers, not people outside of His followers. Yet, sadly, we use that type of scripture to justify calling out the sin of people that don’t even believe they should be following Jesus.  Then we wonder why they won’t go to church.  Near as I remember, I’ve never seen any one come to Jesus when a Christian said to them, “Jesus really hates your sin, but He loves you, so you should follow Him.”

Here’s the truth, you cannot truly love someone when you’re focused on what you hate about them and what they’re doing wrong. When it comes to God, hate never precedes love.  It just cannot. Love stands alone and conquers hate. This is the way it has to be, love cannot have anything to do with hate, except to crush it.

With that said, if we as The Church, really want to love others as we are commanded to (Mark 12:31), here are the two things that we need to eliminate from our love in order to make it a real, Jesus-level love.

1.  Exception

all-welcome-except-you_mge6r_24702Our love isn’t reserved for a particular group of people.  There is no “better than” group in the gospel.  The truth is that EVERYONE is just as undeserving of your love as you are of God’s, yet God gives it anyway.  As Jesus walked around during the three years of His ministry, He reserved His love for no one in particular, but gave it freely to anyone that would accept it. Did everyone accept it? No, not then and not now. Did He stop offering His love because people rejected it?  Nope. He continued to offer love to everyone from the prostitute and tax collector, to the Samaritan woman (which by the way was a HUGE no-no, because Jews considered Samaritans to be lower than dogs), to the Roman officer, and to the Pharisee (remember Nicodemus and the Pharisee that buried Him).  No one was excepted from the offer of love.

For us as His followers, our offer of love should not exclude anyone.  We need to understand that love is not acceptance of behavior, but acceptance of the person. I know any good Christian will nod their head at this and say “Amen”.  How could you possibly say you follow Jesus and disagree with any part of that idea? But, many will go about their day and still hold back their love, without consciously admitting it, never engaging that person who is living a life they disagree with and they’ll do it under the guise of, “If I’m part of their life then that shows I accept what they’re doing.”  The problem with that way of thinking is that you completely miss the point of actually loving so
meone. We often get hung up on evangelizing AT people to convince them to change their life, but what if we invested time into a relationship with them and let Jesus build a genuine love for them inside our heart?  What happens then? What happens is that we end up actually caring for the person and getting to tell them all about our Lord in the safety and familiarity of love.

2.  Expectation

open-hand This one is a little more complicated. It took a long time for me to accept this idea as true.  It’s difficult to not expect people to “get saved” when we’re doing church. The going in on this is that we’re going to present the Gospel message in a clear way and the Holy Spirit will compel people to surrender to Jesus.  In general there is nothing wrong with this idea.  We should have an expectation that God will move. He tells us He will, so we should expect it.  But, when we attach expectation to our love, that’s when things get hairy.  As far as Sunday morning church goes, what if instead of expecting people to “get saved” we expected the Holy Spirit to show up for our celebration (already in progress) and equip us for the work in the week ahead?  What if we then went out into the week and into our communities, ready to love people without an expectation for anything except people getting to experience the love of Christ through His followers?  What would church look like then?

I know the argument might be that Jesus expected things from people, i.e. He told the prostitute to “Go and sin no more.” Yes He did direct her to stop sinning and no doubt He expected her to or else He wouldn’t had said it, but that expectation isn’t what I’m talking about.  Again, the idea of “without expectation” does not excuse Jesus’ followers from adhering to the standard of living He sets for us.  After we commit to following Him, He has an expectation for how we should live, but His love is still offered regardless of whether we live that way or not.  His love is a free love, always without expectation.  Don’t believe me?  There are a lot of stories that could illustrate this point, but just consider the 10 lepers that Jesus healed. Jesus healed all 10 lepers and that was His practical act of love.  After healing all of them, only one came back to thank Him.  The other nine failing to return to show thanks, didn’t cause Jesus to remove the healing, again that was His free, practical act of love (it was offered without expectation), but the one that returned was healed and had his sins forgiven.  Though that single leper benefited from His belief and experienced complete redemption, the other nine still benefited from Jesus’ grace and experienced love. They received an un-expectant love.

We’re not to expect when we love. That idea goes the way of a selfless love.  It shouts Jesus’ command to “Love God and love others” and says, “I love you regardless of who you are and how you respond to it.”  You don’t save someone by telling them how bad they are; you do it by telling them how good Jesus is.  Really, you save someone by introducing them to the only one that can and loving them without exception and expectation does that.

What else can our love do without, or with more of?

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