Tag: God (Page 6 of 9)

Why the Relationship v. Religion Debate Matters

Religion RelationshipIt wasn’t until the last few years that I even knew that this was actually a thing. I’ve spent most of my Christian life naively assuming that as long as I was a Christian, I was good for heaven. I figured that if I did my religious duty of going to church and participating in our community service projects then I could claim to know Jesus. Relationship wasn’t something that was talked about outside of the invitation “to know Jesus” at the end of every sermon. Even then, “if you want a personal relationship with Jesus” was just part of the invitation “script.” There was never really anything beyond that which defined what relationship would or should look like. Knowing why they’re different is important and it may just be the difference between hearing Jesus say, “I never knew you; depart from me” or “Well done, good and faithful servant.

On the surface, the recipe for a relationship with God hinges on the same foundation that our other relationships are built on; communication. There are a bunch of other things that build healthy relationships, but in the last few years I’ve learned that communication helps build and solidify those other things necessary for a solid relationship. Trust, passion, dedication, loyalty, commitment, service and even love, are all impacted and built with good communication. If you’re married or dating, you could never justify having a good relationship with your other if you never talked with them. If the last words you said to your spouse was “I do” chances are they aren’t your spouse any more or they won’t be soon. That’s a whole other blog, but if that’s you, start talking with them. Yet, we do that with God. And then we pretend that to “know” Him and worse, that we are actually “following” Him. But if we’re honest, we don’t and we’re not.

The original intent of the Apostles teaching was not to turn following Jesus it into a set of rules. Following rules requires little in the area of commitment to a person and absolute dedication to a system. The very reason that Jesus chastised the religious leaders, during His ministry, was because they had turned relationship with God the Father, into a system of over 600 rules that you had to follow to be “right” with God. That’s a near, if not completely, impossible task for anyone. What God intended for us was a religion that was built purely on relationship. That’s why throughout the Old Testament He said things like, “You will be My people, and I shall be your God.” It was about being connected to each other, not a system of rules.

Traditionally Church has pushed religion as a means of building relationship. On the surface that doesn’t seem like a bad thing. Early in your relationship with Jesus, systems are important. We set disciplined times to read and pray, attend church and fellowship with other Christians. Where we go wrong is when we accept that as Christianity. All of the sudden we’re in a system of rules that alleviate the need to build relationship. It becomes, do this and you’ll be a follower of Jesus. Say this and you’re forgiven. Don’t do this, because you’re Christian now and Christians don’t do that. Go to church. Wish that you prayed and read the bible more. The list of rules goes on and on.

Religion is about you and it coerces you into trying harder so that you can be a better person. The problem with that is you can become so tied up in doing the hard work of being better that you forget why you’re trying to be better. And because there’s always a version of you that can be better, you get caught in a cycle of never being good enough. Eventually you become worn out and quit, or worse, you become disconnected from the original reason that you started, all the while believing that you’re “doing it.”

But relationship is different. If we would view our early systems similar to what we do when we’re beginning a new relationship, then we cultivate authenticity. As we spend time with another person we learn, and even take on, their mannerisms and sayings. We allow our beliefs to be influenced because we want to be inline with that person. The same happens with Jesus. As we spend time in prayer, reading the bible, spending time with other Christians, the Holy Spirit begins to cultivate authentic change in us. It become about character transformation, rather than behavior modification. Relationship says, I won’t do that because it offends or hurts you. I’ll give that up, because you’re more important. I’ll do that because it pleases you and shows that I value you. Then, out of no where, you’re relationship is your religion.

Relationship, on the other hand, is about others and it compels you to cultivate interactions that display love better. As you do the work of building relationships you begin to look for cultivation opportunities. And because there’s always the ability to love better, you become engaged in a cycle that puts you in the position to love more people better.

I don’t want to sound like there isn’t work required in both; there is. But isn’t the work that makes them different, it’s the result of the work that does; one points to you and the one points to others. The nuance here is that one doesn’t need Jesus to do the work and the other starts with Him and can only be achieved through Him.

So, how do you build a relationship with Jesus. Simple, but not easy:

1. Spend time with God. Pray and read the bible, get a devotional, memorize verses, just spend time with Him

2. Spend time with other believers. Eat, celebrate, grieve, worship, pray, sing and be with each other. Iron sharpens iron and that sharpening happens in community with other believers.

3. Spend time with unbelievers. Once you start following Jesus, you’ll start to see things different. The people you saw before, become completely different. You can learn a ton from unbelievers. We get to hear people’s needs, their hopes, and disappointments. I’ve found that people who aren’t followers of Jesus, don’t feel like they have to make it look like everything in life is great; it makes them a little more honest and raw about what their needs are.

Relationship should build your religion until your religion is relationship.

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Jesus said, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” That happens in relationship. Relationship should build your religion until your religion is relationship.

Are We Getting The Gospel Message Right?

The Gospel

One thing that has always been difficult for me to reconcile, as a Christian, is the way we try to “win” converts and the way that Jesus actually taught. Traditionally we go to unbelievers with a list of things they’re doing wrong, tell them that they’re going to end up in hell because of it and that by believing in Jesus and what He did on the cross, they can be forgiven and get into heaven. When people do accept that message and convert, we tell them to just read their bible, go to church, pray and tithe and Jesus will take care of the rest. Then we call it the Gospel, or Good News. While that’s mostly true and I know that the heart behind it, for a majority of people, is good, it’s kind of a poor “selling” technique and really it isn’t at the heart of what Jesus was getting at.

In Matthew 28:19-20 Jesus said,

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

If we take serious this command to teach all nations to observe all that He commanded, we have to look at what Jesus actually taught and commanded. As we look through scripture we see a majority of Jesus’ teaching points to things like the meek inheriting the earth, that we’re the salt and light of the earth, that we ought to love our enemy, that lust is the same as adultery, and hate is the same as murder, that we should treat others like we want to be treated and that we need to give to the needy. If you want to see what Jesus was all about, The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) is a great place to begin learning Him.

When we start considering that teaching “all that [He] has commanded,” really starts with that kind of stuff, it’s then that we’re able to put into action His commission to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love our neighbor as yourself. When we look at “sharing” the Gospel, it ought to start there. It has to start with the way WE obey His command to love God and others, to which He provided us a whole sermon about what that should look like in practical terms. To be clear, it isn’t a checklist. You can’t simply print off Matthew 5-7 and run down it checking off your good deeds, though many of us might benefit from that approach. Instead it’s the outworking of seeking Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to transform us into doers of His word. It’s a process that lasts a lifetime.

Going to people, who don’t believe in Jesus, with a list of all the ways they’re living their life wrong and how they’re offending God, might seem like the same message that Jesus taught, but it’s actually not. Did Jesus talk about hell? Yes. In Matthew 13:41-42 he said, “The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all law-breakers, and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” But this was an explanation to His disciples, in private, after He taught a parable to the larger crowd. He didn’t sugar coat the fact that humanity was fallen, broken and would be eternally separated from God, if not for Him, but He also didn’t open with that. The Gospel message was never a set of rules. Instead, it was the story of God forgiving us and inviting us in.

I’ve said it before, numerous times, in John 16:9 Jesus points out that “The world’s sin is unbelief in [Him].” That should clue us into the fact that Jesus was telling us that we needed to break through that barrier first. It’s a far harder thing to convince people that they need Jesus when you open with, “you’re a drunk, so you’re headed to hell.” Instead, we see Jesus teaching truths about what it looks like to live as a citizen of the Kingdom, which looks a lot like serving and loving those that at first glance you would say didn’t deserve it. The only criteria He sets for entry into the Kingdom is that you believe in and follow Him. He invites the sinner (which FYI is you) to dine with Him and learn from Him. It’s in that process that the Holy Spirit convicts the world of their sin of unbelief, again it’s not us. Once they’re “in,” it’s the Holy Spirit that deals with the person’s righteousness.

Let’s gain some perspective here. We act like the best way to get people to follow Jesus is speaking to their specific sin acts. Then if they accept that we load them down with a list of things they shouldn’t do anymore. Then, when they leave we wonder why we can’t keep them. Could it be because they don’t actually see the genuine love of Jesus acted out by His people? Thomas spent three years WITH Jesus, in His company, and still doubted that He was who He said He was. Why do we just expect people to take our word for it and not understand when they don’t?

cross-equals-loveThe gospel is not about calling out sin. It’s about pointing to Jesus, in word and deed, telling others how He sacrificed for the collective sins of the world, showing how His redemptive love transforms, allowing the Holy Spirit to move and convict, so others acknowledge their own sinfulness and surrender to their need for a savior. It’s about preaching Jesus as God, Him crucified for mercy sake, resurrected for grace sake and His return for love sake.

Paul resolved to know nothing except Jesus Christ and him crucified. Maybe it’s time that we refocus and resolve the same thing. We can present the cross in one of two ways. As a showcase for others’ sin or as a declaration of His love. They seem similar, but they’re worlds apart.

Why the Independent Christian doesn’t Exist

Independence  Maybe the truly handicapped people are the ones that don’t need God as much.” – Joni Eareckson Tada, The God I Love: A Lifetime of Walking with Jesus

Nothing is more precious in our culture than independence. We see it in every part of our society. We tout it because, ‘Merica. We encourage our young people to find it and tell them that when they do they’ll have what they need to find their voice. We export it, like South America exports coffee, and we do it on the backs of the fighting young to third-world countries that may never understand the sweetness of it. When we talk about attaining the “American Dream” it’s founded on the idea that you must first achieve independence; from your personal freedom and ability to “decide for yourself” to financial freedom, it’s all grounded in finding independence. Author Marcelle Hinkson said it like this, “When you are independent you learn strategies of self empowerment.” And that’s what we learn to want; to give authority and power to MYSELF so that I can achieve the things I want. 

Independence isn’t a bad thing. I’m glad we won independence as a nation. When we help another country achieve their independence, it’s a good thing. If we desire our kids to have heathy lives, marriages and families, then they need to grow up, move away from their parents basement and become independent. So, independence in and of itself is a good thing. But, in America at least, it has seeped its way into Christianity.

There are a few areas where independence doesn’t work so great; one of those is marriage (that’s a whole other blog, but quick side note, individuality is important, independence is contrary to the actual purpose of marriage.) and another is Christianity. It amazes me how many people become Christians and attempt to live out their faith independent of others. It amazes me more that no other Christian tells them that that’s wrong. Independence is not only incompatible with a Christian life, it contradicts it. Christianity is the confession that you’ve tried to do life on your own and that it’s too much. It’s literally the surrender of self empowerment to the sweetness of divine power. Christianity is dependence. 

People don’t like to think they’re dependent on anyone else. It’s scary to not be in control. People let us down and aren’t to be trusted with our most vulnerable areas of life. Theirs a belief that if you can’t control your life then you’re weak. Because Christianity is surrendering control, society views it as the religion of the weak, as a “crutch” for the weak minded. John Piper has a great sermon where he talks about that. He talks about crutches generally being a good thing, except when used to describe Christianity and who eventually realizes they need a crutch. You can read or listen to it HERE. Regardless what your feelings are about becoming a Christian, if you’re already a Christian, you’re called to live a life of dependence, not independence.

Jesus said, of Himself, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father[a] does, that the Son does likewise. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing. And greater works than these will he show him, so that you may marvel.” He also said, “I and the Father are one.” If Jesus acknowledged His inability to operate outside of God the Father, where did we get the idea that we can operate outside of Him. I’ve heard lots of Christians say things like, “God and I have an understanding.” Uh, no you don’t. If your understanding is that you are weak and He is strong and apart from Him you can do nothing. Then ok, you have a pretty good understanding. If it’s that apart from Him you can do nothing, then I have the same understanding. Other than that, there is no, “I don’t go to church (or participate in Christian community) because God and I have an understanding.” or “I knows I believe in Him, so I don’t need to go to a building to prove it.” Any “understanding” that resembles anything close to those ideas, is not an understanding with God. Those are excuses; whether built out of the intent to not have to fully engage with God or the fear of full surrender, they’re still excuses.

If the excuses are fear based, I fully understand. Surrender isn’t usually viewed as a good thing and definitely not an easy thing. But surrender inside of Christianity isn’t about giving up whatever perceived “freedom” we think we have. Surrendering to Jesus is about giving up the need to try harder. We give up trying to be a “better” person. We give up the need to “fix” ourselves. Surrendering to Christ is the surrendering to rest, not the giving up of rights. Surrendering in Christianity doesn’t mean abandoning who you are; it’s entering into the fullness of who you’re meant to be. 


If you hold onto the notion that you’re an independent Christian and ideas like you don’t need community, going to church “just isn’t for you,” or you and God “have an understanding” then you’re not living the Christ following Christianity described in the Bible and that Jesus laid the foundation for. Independence and Christianity do not exist inside of the same space. There’s one body and one Spirit and we are called to interdependent unity within both. Jesus said, “…whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit…” The only way to interpret that is dependency. That’s my understanding with God.

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