In Matthew 18:20, Jesus promises to be with His followers when they come together in any size group, even if it’s only two or three. Until recently, I assumed He was talking specifically about praying together. However, while He does speak about agreeing in prayer right before making this promise, He’s promising something much farther reaching than just praying together. What if Jesus’ promise means that He is present every time we’re with another Christian? 

I’m not suggesting that He isn’t always present; He is. We have His Holy Spirit who indwells us and access to the Father the same as He did. But, Jesus does seem to make some distinction between Him going to the Father so the Holy Spirit can come to us. I am suggesting that if we’re made in and becoming the image of Christ, maybe we can see and experience Him more fully when we’re gathered with other Christians.

Because I’m confident in that being true, it changes what it means when I’m with another Christian. Jesus being present with us turns every coffee meeting and every kid’s soccer game into an opportunity to see Him. This was a huge realization for me because it means that I, and we, have to regard gathering with other Christians as a crucial matter if we want to see Jesus among us. And if that’s the case, how much more does that apply to marriage.

Is Marriage “Community”

Think with me for a minute. If two Christians decide to marry, they are committing to be gathered together before God, forever. They essentially become the most basic and consistent gathering of Christians. That means that Jesus is always present among them. Right? That’s a lot of pressure. Maybe that’s why Paul told us to pray always. All joking aside, marriage becomes an opportunity to see Christ present among you on a pretty continuous basis.

Because there’s a lot of great marriage blogs and articles out there, I wanted to approach this idea from a different angle. I want to address it from the perspective of marriage as a community. For that, one of the best places we can go to is Acts 2:42-47.

This passage of scripture provides a great perspective on what it should look like when believers gather together. That perspective very easily and usefully translates to what a healthy marriage could look like from the perspective of a husband and wife gathered together as the body of Christ. Let’s dive right in.

A couple who is gathered with one another…

Devotes themselves to learning God’s word and seeks Him together

Acts 2:42 says, “The [Christians] devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” A healthy marriage is one where both parties are dedicated to knowing God better and learning to hear His voice through the reading of His word. Additionally, they are committed to being with each other and growing in God. They spend time seeking God together, eat together to remember Christ (sit down at the dinner table occasionally), and praying with and for each other.

Are with and for each other and have a unified direction.

Acts 2:44 says, “And all who believed were together and had all things in common.” A healthy marriage is one in which both members partners. They make decisions together and respect the other as an individual. They cheer each other on and believe in their partner (be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader). They also work toward moving in the same direction as a couple and family. This requires constant and deliberate communication about dreams, hopes, desires, and intentions.

Meet one another’s needs, often at the expense of your own desires. 

This is not the Jerry McGuire “you complete me” garbage. I’m not talking about your spouse being the one who is supposed to fill in all your gaps and make you feel whole; only God can do that. Acts 2:45 says, “And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.” This is about sacrificing your desires and wants for the sake of another. Marriage is the perfect place to practice that. I once heard a pastor define love as, “The accurate estimation and adequate supply of another’s need.” The only thing I would add is “without expectation.” If that other person isn’t first your spouse, you have no business supplying another’s need.

Spend time together and share gladness and generosity freely.

Acts 2:46 says, “And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts.” This is about a couple enjoying being with each other. The new Christians, in the Acts church, could have worshipped in their homes in smaller groups, but they chose to go to the temple to be with all the other Christians. They enjoyed each others’ company. The same should be true of a married couple. They should also be cheerful and generous with each other. No one likes a selfish jerk, especially not your spouse. 

Celebrate God’s goodness.

Acts 2:47 says, “praising God.” This is simply about recognizing that all good things come from the Lord. Spouses who are gathered together remind each other of this truth because sometimes you forget.

No one likes a selfish jerk, especially not your spouse. 
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Are admired by others.

Acts 2:47 also says, “and having favor with all the people.” This might be a hard one, but the truth is, if we’re striving to be like Christ, then the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) begins to become part of who you are. This doesn’t mean everyone will like you, just that you’ll be the type of person that people see Christ in. This starts by being those things to your spouse. I promise that if you give this fruit to your spouse and people will admire you.

Acts 2:47 ends with, “And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.” God is pleased when you gather with your spouse and invite Jesus to be present. It pleases Him because it is one of the ways that we get to participate with Him in inviting others into His Kingdom.