Tag: Christianity (Page 8 of 9)

Are You Discontent with Your Church?

April 27, 2015 / / 3 Comments

Church GoersYou should totally tell everyone in your small group. If you’re not in a small group, post on Facebook all the ways that your church is doing church wrong. The best thing to do when you’re discontent with the church you attend is to complain until you can’t stand it anymore and then leave and start attending another church, but don’t forget the scathing email, disguised as “loving advice,” to the lead pastor as you exit. After that, start telling everyone how great it is and how they’re “doing” church so much better. At least until they do something that you don’t like. Better yet, instead of just attending another church, just across town, start your own “new” thing. But make sure it’s started on the grounds that you can do it better and completely based on frustration and anger at the “system” you left… is the advice that most Christian would never accept as “good,” but is actually the way that so many will leave their current church.

I know that for the last few years I’ve been an advocate for doing church differently, but I’ve never said that I had THE way or even a better way, just a different way. It’s the way that I feel God has called me to. It’s a model that is intended to serve and love people that traditional models would likely never reach. It’s the result of years of prayer, seeking God’s wisdom and collaboration with other believers. It isn’t built out of anger toward another model or a specific church. It isn’t even built out of frustration toward a model that others use. It was not built out of a discontentment, or dissatisfaction, with someone else’s model, but from seeing groups of people that other models, not for not trying, couldn’t reach. It was built out of a desire, that God placed in my heart, to see more people join us in the Kingdom and become disciples of Jesus, that make disciples of Jesus. It was built out of a God given desire to see the marginalized find healing in Jesus.

With that said, it wasn’t something that came easy. As I said, it took a lot of prayer and wrestling with what God was calling me to. At the beginning I did think, for just a second, that there may be a problem with the way “traditional” church was “doing it.” But, I had a great community of people that I was able to talk through it with. My lead pastor (at that time), coach and friend, Jeff Maness, helped guide me through it, wether he knows that or not (maybe I should make sure he knows). And, a lot of prayer and seeking God revealed that it had nothing to with the ministries that God had called others to and had everything to do with what He was calling me to. And that’s where so many, that are not happy in their current church, miss it.

If this sounds like where you’re currently at or potentially headed toward, I think there’s two main things that could be happening.

1: God is calling you to something else.

This was my situation. God had placed a desire in my heart that took years of cultivating and watering for it to develop. Being dissatisfied with something is a hard thing, especially when you don’t know what exactly you’re discontent with. Some of the most frustrating times in my life have been when I was discontent, but couldn’t pinpoint any particular area or thing that was causing it. Turns out that most of those times, it was a discontentment that God had placed in me because He was calling me to something new.

It’s so easy to misinterpret or mistranslate that discontentment and assign it to the very thing we’re being called away from. For me it’s because fear tells me I’m not good enough or equipped to do that new thing. So, instead of exploring and seeking where the discontentment is coming from and where it may be leading, we try to figure out how to change where we currently are, in an attempt to be content. In church that looks like attenders that convince themselves that their church is “doing” church wrong. All of the sudden, you’re more focused on what you’re not getting and why it’s your church’s fault, rather than seeking to follow Jesus well and being obedient to God’s call on you.

The truth is, if your church is teaching Christ and Him crucified, then the method they use isn’t wrong. If Jesus is central to the pastor’s teaching, chances are he is listening to the call God placed in his heart and the church model he is using is what God has called him to. You don’t get to influence that just because you feel like it should be done a different way. That leads us to number two.

2: You want something that you’re not getting.

This is going to seem a bit harsh, but it’s a very real possibility and potentially something that needs to be wrestled with. In some circumstances, there are people that perceive, for whatever the reason, that the church leadership is not giving them the authority or influence that they feel they deserve. Typically this is the result of the person having attended for a significant amount of time or having held lower lay-leader positions (small group leader, kids church class leader, etc.). Whatever the case, the person feels like they’ve gown to a level of maturity or leadership that their church leaders should recognize and reward with increased leadership. When that doesn’t happen, all of the sudden the church is “doing it wrong.”

This is a pride issue. If this is the case, then maybe maturity hasn’t been achieved in any great measure and maybe you haven’t gained the leadership traits you thought you had. When this happens and the person doesn’t seek God and wise counsel to deal with it, the result can play out in a couple ways:

1) The discontent member simply complains to other members. This just creates dissension, disharmony and disunity. This is no good. In fact, in Proverbs 6:19 God identifies “one who sows discord among brothers” as one of the seven sins that are an abomination. At the minimum it creates tension within the congregation. Worse case, if the person is someone that people will follow, it detracts from others’ relationship with God and that’s how church splits happen. I’ve seen churches that were started as a result of anger, pride and discontentment; they aren’t healthy and typically don’t last.

2) The discontent member stews in his/her discontentment until they can’t take it anymore and decide they need to leave. Typically they leave by sending the lead pastor a scathing letter/email written “in love,” but really it has no love in it anywhere. After that they leave and begin attending a new church that has an almost identical model as the one they left. In no time the person is discontent with the way that the new church is “doing” it and they’re looking to change them or they leave. Sometimes they get the idea to start a church of their own, but again, they typically aren’t healthy and don’t last.

So what do you do, then? Talk with others. But talk with them in healthy ways. Be honest that you’re discontent with something, but you’re not clear on what. Seek God. Pray, read the bible and journal. Let God clarify for you. And He will. He promises that if we draw close to Him, He’ll draw close to us. Continue to joyfully serve where you’re at. If you’re serving God and others, no one, not even you, will benefit from you being angry with something that you’re not clear on. If you just can’t get passed it, maybe consider stepping out of whatever roll you’re serving in and take a season of simply attending and seeking.

After that, if God is calling you to something new, awesome. It’s so exciting and scary and amazing and God is bigger than any of that. New things are God’s thing and you can leave a church well, with the church’s blessing. But remember, the most important thing you can do for God is be obedient in where He currently has you and the most important ministry you’ll ever serve in, is the one you’re currently serving in; be there joyfully.

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Keep YOUR Gospel to Yourself.

April 22, 2015 / / 5 Comments

On Monday we began hearing stories about an “anti-gay day” organized by some of the students at McGuffey High School in Claysville, Pennsylvania. Since then there have been so many news reports, article, and blogs. The district administration has also supposedly initiated an investigation into allegations of harassment that accompanied some of the “protest.”

The fact that these kids organized a protest doesn’t bother me. I spent two decades in the military to help ensure people are able to freely voice themselves, no matter how narrow minded and bigoted it is. What bothers me is this:

Anti-gay day pic

The fact that they used the cross as a symbol of being anti-gay. I’m kind of getting tired of writing this, mainly to people that call themselves Christians. The fact that this ignorant kid used the cross as a symbol of hate, infuriates me. The cross is a symbol of forgiveness. It’s on the cross that Jesus died to destroy the very thing that this kid is using it to represent: hate.

WHERE’S THE LAW THAT PROTECTS MY RELIGION FROM HATEFUL PEOPLE RUINING IT? ~ TWEET THIS ~

If you read the buzzfeed.com article, it even says that the participating students Instagramed scripture verses and tagged students that they knew are gay. I couldn’t find that anywhere else, but if you can’t believe BuzzFeed, who can you believe? Regardless, even if there’s a sliver of truth to that, this picture still remains. I’m absolutely exhausted from the amount of anger and frustration caused by people, pretending to be Christian, using the Word of God, that was meant to draw people to Him, as a tool to perpetuate their hate. Where’s the law that protects my religion from hateful people ruining it.

To the LBGTQ students at McGuffey High and every other high school that will no doubt have idiots that pick up this idea,

I’m sorry. That’s not my Jesus. That’s hate and Jesus isn’t hate. In fact He’s love. He not only loves you, He IS love. I know there are some harsh verses in the bible and people use them to call you all sorts of horrible things, but they’re ignorant and not taking the whole of the bible for what God said or intended. They’re cherry picking what suits their cause, not God’s. What these students did is the youth equivalent to the Westboro Baptist bullies and it’s disgusting.

Jesus would NEVER condone this type of behavior. I wonder what might happen if Jesus were still walking the earth and a group of people threw a gay man or woman at His feet. I imagine it would probably gonthe same way it went with the adulteress. He would say, “Whoever here is without sin, throw the first stone.” Then He would eat with them, at the disgust of the religious. I’d go to that dinner party.

Please, for the love of my God, if you’re anti-gay, stop using my religion as a means of hurting and hating people. Figure out another way and leave Jesus out of it. Because, when it comes down to it, you’re not really Christians. If you were, you’d know the bible is pro-God and God is pro-people. If He wasn’t, there’d be no cross.

The ONLY “right” way to do church.

April 13, 2015 / / 0 Comments

Right WayThere’s only one way to do church. That’s right, you read that correctly; only one way. And, because I’m a nice guy, I’m going to tell you what that right way is. But first let me say, it is definitely NOT the way that “traditional” institutional Sunday service focused church is doing it. I’m talking about all those churches like Saddleback, Mars Hill, New Spring, National Community Church, The Village Church and all of those similar to that model; big or small. It is also definitely NOT all those small community based churches, and that includes organic home churches, like SOMA, 1Body, and all the ones that I can’t mention because they’re so small they don’t have a webpage to link. None of them are doing it the right way. On the other hand, all of them could be doing it the right way.

You may be asking, “So, what’s the “right” way then?” I’ll get to that in a second, but first I need to clarify something and establish something else.

Clarifying: This post is NOT intended to dig at or cut down how any church is “doing” church. The model doesn’t matter and I’ll make that point in a minute. This post is also NOT intended to say that institutional church is doing it wrong. I grew up and met Jesus in “big” church. If not for going on Sundays and hearing the word preached, I’m not sitting here typing this.

Establishing: I want to be honest about where this post is coming from. Let me start by saying that I recently, with my wife and two long-time friends, started a small gospel centered community, all volunteer based neighborhood church. There are anywhere between 10 and 15 attenders (and that includes a lot of kids). So, my heart is for small church with big celebration. With that said, over the last few weeks I’ve heard and read a number of “institutional” church leaders, some from fairly large churches with decent influence, speak out about the topic that there is no “right” way to do church. A few of those posts/videos seemed really defensive and some even a little abrasive. Again, to to be honest, I’m not sure where this defensiveness is coming from. I follow a number of bloggers (both in large and small church settings) and I rarely see posts from organic/small/house church leaders that suggest that they have the “right” way to do church and big church is wrong or bad. What I do see is small church leaders sharing the call and vision that God has placed in their heart. I see them beckoning to those that are not in gospel community to come and join. I see them trumpeting God’s vision for church, for them, the same way I see large church leaders do it every Sunday. This post is not meant to put those leaders on blast. It’s meant to shed some light, reframe perspective and hopefully show the ability and necessity to be unified in one body and one Spirit.

It’s easy to point out what others are doing wrong. We can look at an individual, program or organization and see the little flaws that may be hurting them, whether they know or acknowledge them or not. Sometimes that’s good. If you’re a part of that organization, have earned a trusted voice there and have a heart for the vision and mission, “fresh eyes” are often welcomed. But, if you’re outside of that organization, aren’t trusted or don’t care about the vision, then voicing what you see is likely not helpful and will typically be taken as criticism for the sake of being a jerk and will often be disregarded. It’s also easier to make it seem like what you’re doing is better or right, if you can point out others’ errors. If that’s what you’re doing, then chances are you don’t actually believe what you’re doing is right or good. That’s what’s been happening in the Church.

Lots of big and small church leaders have written books or blogs about the “right” way to “do” church. Some of them point out all of the “wrong” stuff that the other is doing. I haven’t spoken to most of those leaders, but I imagine that the ones that point out what other churches are doing wrong and then counter with how they’re way is right, don’t really believe, deep in their heart, that they are really called to it. Or at the least, they haven’t spent time allowing God to cultivate the call in them.

As I mentioned, I’m part of a team that just started a small neighborhood church. It’s the culminated call of years of God’s cultivation and the beginning of His pruning and harvesting. I have journals, upon journals with writings about what church could look like, outside of the larger institutional model and different than the organic house church model. The vision God has planted in my heart falls somewhere in between those two models. But, I believe in it. I believe in that call and vision. And because I believe in it, I write about it and I plan to write about it a lot more. In that writing I always try to take care to not say either side is doing church wrong. Like I said, without institutional church, I’m not here. It’s never been about anyone doing church “right” or “wrong”. It’s about doing church the way that you feel God calling YOU to do church. Ultimately I don’t care how you do church as long as you do church. Realistically I’d like every Christian to understand what it means that we are church, but I’ll settle for doing church together in the mean time. What I, and many others, write isn’t an accusation toward big church “doing it wrong.”

My articles like Rethinking the Churches Front Door and It’s Not Your Pastor’s Job are not indications that I think institutional/big church models are wrong in the model they’re using or the work they’re doing. What it does mean is that I’m pursuing Jesus in a way that honors the call and vision that God has placed in my heart. It means that I believe in what God has invited me, and many others, to be a part of. It means that God has shown me that it works; both through my life and in the lives of others that I’ve been a part of. It means that God has revealed to me that there are people that neither traditional Sunday service focused church, nor simple organic home church will ever reach, but that this model will. It means that I know there are people that we will never reach with this model of church and I thank God that there are traditional Sunday service focused churches and simple organic home churches to do that. It means that I’m writing for those that God may be prompting to do something different or fresh.

My writing, and likely many others that are writing about the vision God has given them for church, is not a call to abandon the way that God has called you to be a part of or “do” church. It isn’t the antithesis of your model of church; it’s complimentary to it. It’s intended to be a different part of the same body. When you act offended at the notion that God may have shown someone else another way, you’re telling that part that they’re unnecessary. But “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you…’” I’ve heard so many pastors and leaders in traditional Sunday service focused churches say something to the effect of, “Our way isn’t the best or only way to do church, it’s a way and it’s the way that God has called us to.” If that’s a true statement, then the words directed at other churches should be ones of encouragement and building up.

The only way to do church is to answer the call to the community that God has placed in you. As long as it’s biblical and Jesus centered, you’ve got THE way to do church. Chances are, all of us have some aspect of church wrong. But, as long as we’re in a community of believers who’s sole purpose it to glorify and worship God, then you’re doing church “right.” Your full “rock” style band leading worship is no more wrong than your single guitar and djembe. Jesus said, the world will know we are his by our love for each other. Maybe we start by not being defensive toward one another and recognizing that we’re all doing the same work, His.

What are some ways that we can be unified as one body?

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