Category: Life (Page 1 of 8)

Does the Counsel You Give Justify or Challenge?

June 19, 2017 / Bruce Pagano II / 0 Comments

When I approach a friend for advice, I usually want them to give me a clear answer for what I should do. It always seems easier to not have to wrestle with making the “right” decision. Then, if it happens to not be the right decision, I do not have to be fully responsible for the outcome. But, as easy as that would be, those I count as my best friends never just hand me an answer. And I appreciate them all the more for that.

It always seems easier to not have to wrestle with making the “right” decision.

Click To Tweet

A Counsel of Friends vs. An Over-Saved Response

The way they do this is instead of just delivering me up an answer, they typically walk with me through the issue. That involves asking a lot of thought provoking questions and sharing perspective. One of the best parts of our interaction is the amount of thought and prayer that goes into their end of the discussion. And, they never flippantly use scripture as a mask for not knowing what to say. But, because they care about following Jesus well and being Him to others, when God does reveal wisdom through His word, they obediently share it. Which, again, I appreciate.

And when it comes to scripture, we all have a friend that is really, really religious. You know, the over-saved friend. The one whose advice is drenched in scriptural references, most of which doesn’t even make sense for the issue I am dealing with. Something like, me: “Should I take this job or that job?” Friend: “Jesus said, ‘I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.’” What? In hindsight those are my favorite bits of “scriptural wisdom”, because they are hilarious. If we are honest, we are all guilty of this.

When it comes to scripture, we all have a friend that is really, really religious. You know, the over-saved friend.

Click To Tweet

Scriptural Counsel

When an issue comes up, one of the easiest thing to do is throw a few bible verses at it, regardless of whether they are contextually applicable. We all do it, as both the seeker and giver of counsel. As the seeker of counsel, we look to scripture that justifies our behavior or response, rather than letting Holy Spirit speak to our actual need. To be clear, I am all for using scripture as the foundation for the counsel we give. I wish, as a community of believers, we were more dependent on the word of God for how we are to live out our daily lives. How much fuller would our life in Christ, both individually and communally, be if we sought counsel from the word of God on an everyday basis? After all, wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord and understanding comes with knowledge of Him (Prov 9:10). So to be clear, using scripture is not the issue.

As the seeker of counsel, we look to scripture that justifies our behavior or response...

Click To Tweet

Scripture that Justifies

The issue is when we mis-contextualize scripture for our benefit. If you feel like someone has wronged you, how much easier is it to find a scripture that justifies our anger, rather than let God lead you in how to handle it? If you did, the possibility exists that God may require you to let it go, like, to just drop it. Or worse, He might ask you to forgive the offense and reconcile. Those can be jagged pills to swallow. Instead, we recall our favorite scripture verse to justify, rather than challenge. But comfort, in that sense, is never God’s desire for us; Christ-likeness is. And it has always been that idea that has always been the foundation of some of the best counsel I have ever received.

If you feel like someone has wronged you, how much easier is it to find a scripture that justifies our anger?

Click To Tweet

Counsel that Challenges

I do not remember the issue I was dealing with at the time, but I do remember the counsel. Whatever the issue was, my friend’s counsel came in the form of a question. He asked, “Regardless of the situation and how you feel, what actions would honor Christ?” Bam! Hard question to answer if I am looking to justify myself. It brought me to 1 Cor 10:31, which says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” If you want a bible verse that can apply to a whole host of issues, this is one. And, while it does not provide an outright answer, it does force you to ask a better question.

Scripture was never intended for use to justify our actions.

Click To Tweet

Rather than throwing scripture at each other in an attempt to justify, our love for one another ought to compel us to challenge each other toward Christ. I am not suggesting that there is never a time to use scripture to comfort. On the contrary, the Holy Spirit is our ever-present Comforter (John 14:16) and Counselor (John 14:26). There are occasions when it is more than appropriate to use scripture as a healing salve. But, scripture was never intended for use to justify our actions. If we desire to “walk as Christ walked” (1 John 2:6), asking “what would honor Christ” is a question that we should ask each other often.

photo: Flickr/Bill Strain

Loving Your Enemy Requires Radical Love

June 5, 2017 / Bruce Pagano II / 0 Comments

A few months ago I heard a story about a musician who befriends members of the Ku Klux Klan (KKK). That may not seem like an impressive feat, except that the musician is a black man. His name is Daryl Davis. And, while Daryl did not set out to make friends with a group that outright hates him, because of his skin color, that is what happened. And because of those friendships, hearts are changing and people have departed from the hate fueled and filled group. You can listen to some of Daryl’s story, here.

After hearing Daryl’s story I wondered what type of love prompts this depth of change. It is not clear if Daryl is religious. I also do not know if he would name love as a motivator for his actions. But, regardless of what he calls it, elements resembling love are present. As Christians, it is worth examining what Daryl does and considering it regarding Jesus’ instruction to, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt 5:44).

Drawing the Line

When it comes to loving others, the distinction between how you love them and what type of love you offer is often blurry. In meeting needs there does not always need to be a distinction between the types of love offered as long as it originates from Jesus. But, for loving our enemies, we have two options; relevant love or radical love. On the surface it may seem like there is little difference, but there is enough of one that we must acknowledge it. Although subtle, when we look at the definitions of both words we can tease out an important difference.

Relevant means “having significant and demonstrable effect on the matter at hand.” While radical means “relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something.” Both words cause change, but it is the last part of each definition that makes them different. Relevant “effects the matter at hand” and radical “affects the fundamental nature of something.” The main difference in them is what motivates them and what they change.

Relevant

Relevant love sees a specific need and responds to it. And while responding to needs is important, this love allows the situation to dictate the response. Because of that, when the need changes, the response changes. This love is a waning love. It allows us to decide the seriousness of the need and the level of love to apply. While responding with any love is honorable, this contradicts the love that Jesus instructed us to use with our enemies. Not only is it motivated by a specific circumstance, it only focuses on effecting the person’s behavior. Often, relevant love only changes behavior. And, although the love offered does not always intend to only change behavior, it is unlikely to create deeper change. I am not saying we should not respond to needs, but rather that we should offer love that reaches deeper than surface level needs.

Radical

Radical love does that. When we consider the purpose of the love of Christ, we see a love that changes everything. The love of Christ is so radical that it changes the very core of human nature and creation. Radical love arises out of the understanding that “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Radical love is also the foundation by which Jesus walked out His entire ministry. It was the love that he offered His disciples in the invitation to follow Him. He offered it to the woman caught in adultery. He even offered it to a Roman centurion (His conceivable enemy).

In every case he changed the core of each person and ultimately the very nature of entire existence. Because of radical love, that changed everything, we get to be reconciled to God. And, while Daryl may not describe what he is doing as “offering radical love”, his response to the KKK is unquestionably radical and at the very least, challenging, if not changing, the core belief systems of many.

To be clear, any response with love at its core, is a good response. I would settle for love as a response in every situation, regardless of the type. But, we still need to understand that relevant love responds to changes in the culture and radical love is a change agent within the culture. When it comes to the type of love we are called to as Christians, it is always a love which affects the fundamental nature of creation.

photo: MNU Blog

Dear Millennials, It’s time to move on

June 1, 2015 / Bruce Pagano II / 0 Comments

I’m not a millennial, I missed being part of that generation by about 3 to 5 years. I prefer to think of myself as a recovering Gen X-er (1965-1984), although, depending on who you ask I may be a Gen Y-er (1976ish-2004ish), which I’d totally be ok with. Regardless, I ended up sitting just outside of the group dubbed millennials. But, even though I’m not one, I’ve spent a ton of time with a bunch of them and I’m married to one, so I do have some firsthand knowledge about them and I absolutely love them as a generation. That being said, I think it’s time for them to move on.

One of the hottest topics on the church scene today is their exodus (real or perceived) from Christianity. And everyone has something to say about it. Nearly every church is clamoring to find ways to get them back in the pews (or padded chairs). Pastors are writing articles and books about why they should comeback and millennials are writing books about all of it; why they left, what would cause them to consider returning and even why they’ll never return. There’s a lot of writing on it. In fact, if you were to Google the words, “Millennials Leave Christianity” you would get about 745,000 hits. Obviously some of those will be duplicates, and if you vary the word order or use slightly different words you end up with fewer hits, but the point is, a lot people are concerned about millennials leaving Christianity.

I get it. I’m just as concerned when people leave the Church. I hate the idea of people leaving a community that’s supposed to be drawing close to Jesus because they’re angry, hurt or longing. But I’m lost for why that concern is directed solely at millennials, love them as I do. Lots of people walk away from church. And I’m convinced that if someone can willingly turn their back on Jesus and His bride, then they were probably sold a version of Christianity, unintentionally or not, that told them that once converted, “every little thing was gonna be alright.” A person’s ability to walk away from Christ always causes me to question whether they’ve ever actually experienced the genuine love of Jesus. I’m certain that if they had, walking away would be a near, if not completely, impossible task. But, I digress, for some reason our biggest concern is millennials leaving. And that’s fine for a season. It’s prompted some great discussion for why people leave and how to get to a place of deep community and love.

Rachel Held Evans is one of the more popular voices on the subject, writing blogs and books, her latest being Searching for Sundays (which full disclosure, I haven’t read, but I’m sure it’s on par with the high quality of her other writings). In a recent article she wrote for The Washington Post she said that all her searching has led her to the Episcopal Church and confesses that it was the sacraments that brought her back. I’ve read a number of articles, in addition to her’s, suggesting that a liturgical, sacramental focused Christianity is the best way to win millennials back. Maybe. Others, like Matthew Drake, have said that not even liturgy or sacraments will entice him back into the fold. He suggests that liturgical and sacramental church is as inauthentic, just a different kind, as the mega-church that millennials are leaving. All that to say that a lot of people have a lot of opinions, reasons and ideas about why they’re leaving, how to get them back or why it’ll never happen. But none of that matters.

I feel like it’s been given the attention that it needs. There are other demographics leaving the church and no one is writing about them. Maybe because they tend to leave quieter. Maybe because they don’t exactly know how to articulate why they’re leaving. And what about the large number of people that stay in church, because they grew up in the church or because a “good” person goes to church, but never knows the changing power of the Holy Spirit? I don’t see any articles about the guy in his 50s that has always attended church, every Sunday, but never, in 30 years, actually allowed Jesus to change his heart. Where’s those articles? Attending church doesn’t make you a Jesus follower anymore than seeing a movie makes you an actor. But this is where we’ve arrived, millennials. I think there’s two types of millennials in this whole “leaving” thing; the nominal and the seeker.

Without a deep connection to Jesus sacraments and liturgy become inauthentic.

The nominal millennial Christian likely came to church because someone invited them, so they went, loved the atmosphere, connected with the idea of participating in a social justice movement and bought into the buzzwords around following Jesus. Eventually they began to feel that “church” lacked depth and realized that it didn’t take church to promote social justice. So they left. But, because they were in church long enough, they feel like they have the experience and justification to offer advice on what needs to change in order to create depth. All in all, the Church might win some of them back, but most of them won’t come back. There was a significant lack of genuine connection and communion with Jesus, so they don’t know that they should be missing something or that their could be and should be more. Liturgy and sacraments won’t draw them back. If it does, it’ll be short lived. Without a deep connection to Jesus, sacraments and liturgy become, as Drake suggests, just as inauthentic. Sadly, if they already view church as inauthentic, little may change that view.

The seeker millennial Christian may have arrived at church and may be leaving for similar reasons as the nominal, but there are a few minor, but significant, differences. They’ve experienced Jesus and encountered community. They’ve tasted and seen that He is good. They’ve known His love and they know that it moves you to something deeper and so real that it is open and inviting to everyone. That’s not to say that traditional church is wrong, but the seeking millennial is being drawn to a deepness that they haven’t been able to find in the church that they’re leaving. I’m not convinced that most of them will be back either, but they want to be back, it just may not be in the way that we want them back. Frankly, I don’t want them back, not back where they came from. I want them to return to the body, but in a way that creates deep community centered on Jesus and goes to others seeking the same.

I think the best place for the millennial that’s seeking a deeper more meaningful communion with Jesus and His bride is wherever they feel like God is calling them to do that. If it’s their house with a few other believers, awesome. If it’s the Krispie Kreme with people that aren’t sure what they believe, even better. If it’s in a liturgical and sacramental focused Episcopalian church, that’s good too. The point is, I think writing about what might get them back has run it’s course; and I say that fully loving the fact that we get to have these discussions, especially in the medium of the written word. The time for action is here. The more we try to figure out how to draw them back, the more we potentially neglect those already sitting in the padded chairs. I’m sorry millennials, I love you, but it isn’t all about you. Instead, what if we helped the millennial figure out what God is calling them to rather than what the they are calling for us to change? What if we partnered with the millennial and discipled and guided them through where ever God is leading their heart? Better yet, what if millennials got together around God’s word and waited for Him to move?

To be fair, I’m sure it isn’t as simple as a right down the middle split of nominal v. seeker, but from what I’ve seen and read, those are the two biggest players. To be even more fair, I know a lot of millennials that are already doing this and it’s awesome. You can check out a few of them at Fresh Expressions or 1 Body. I think what it comes down to is that it’s probably better to focus on what God’s calling you to and witout trying to change the vision that others feel God has called them to. We’re one body with many parts. All together we’re His bride, and she’s beautiful.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking one of the social media buttons below. Thanks.

Category: Life (Page 1 of 8)

Does the Counsel You Give Justify or Challenge?