Category: Approach God (Page 7 of 18)

Are You Discontent with Your Church?

April 27, 2015 / / 3 Comments

Church GoersYou should totally tell everyone in your small group. If you’re not in a small group, post on Facebook all the ways that your church is doing church wrong. The best thing to do when you’re discontent with the church you attend is to complain until you can’t stand it anymore and then leave and start attending another church, but don’t forget the scathing email, disguised as “loving advice,” to the lead pastor as you exit. After that, start telling everyone how great it is and how they’re “doing” church so much better. At least until they do something that you don’t like. Better yet, instead of just attending another church, just across town, start your own “new” thing. But make sure it’s started on the grounds that you can do it better and completely based on frustration and anger at the “system” you left… is the advice that most Christian would never accept as “good,” but is actually the way that so many will leave their current church.

I know that for the last few years I’ve been an advocate for doing church differently, but I’ve never said that I had THE way or even a better way, just a different way. It’s the way that I feel God has called me to. It’s a model that is intended to serve and love people that traditional models would likely never reach. It’s the result of years of prayer, seeking God’s wisdom and collaboration with other believers. It isn’t built out of anger toward another model or a specific church. It isn’t even built out of frustration toward a model that others use. It was not built out of a discontentment, or dissatisfaction, with someone else’s model, but from seeing groups of people that other models, not for not trying, couldn’t reach. It was built out of a desire, that God placed in my heart, to see more people join us in the Kingdom and become disciples of Jesus, that make disciples of Jesus. It was built out of a God given desire to see the marginalized find healing in Jesus.

With that said, it wasn’t something that came easy. As I said, it took a lot of prayer and wrestling with what God was calling me to. At the beginning I did think, for just a second, that there may be a problem with the way “traditional” church was “doing it.” But, I had a great community of people that I was able to talk through it with. My lead pastor (at that time), coach and friend, Jeff Maness, helped guide me through it, wether he knows that or not (maybe I should make sure he knows). And, a lot of prayer and seeking God revealed that it had nothing to with the ministries that God had called others to and had everything to do with what He was calling me to. And that’s where so many, that are not happy in their current church, miss it.

If this sounds like where you’re currently at or potentially headed toward, I think there’s two main things that could be happening.

1: God is calling you to something else.

This was my situation. God had placed a desire in my heart that took years of cultivating and watering for it to develop. Being dissatisfied with something is a hard thing, especially when you don’t know what exactly you’re discontent with. Some of the most frustrating times in my life have been when I was discontent, but couldn’t pinpoint any particular area or thing that was causing it. Turns out that most of those times, it was a discontentment that God had placed in me because He was calling me to something new.

It’s so easy to misinterpret or mistranslate that discontentment and assign it to the very thing we’re being called away from. For me it’s because fear tells me I’m not good enough or equipped to do that new thing. So, instead of exploring and seeking where the discontentment is coming from and where it may be leading, we try to figure out how to change where we currently are, in an attempt to be content. In church that looks like attenders that convince themselves that their church is “doing” church wrong. All of the sudden, you’re more focused on what you’re not getting and why it’s your church’s fault, rather than seeking to follow Jesus well and being obedient to God’s call on you.

The truth is, if your church is teaching Christ and Him crucified, then the method they use isn’t wrong. If Jesus is central to the pastor’s teaching, chances are he is listening to the call God placed in his heart and the church model he is using is what God has called him to. You don’t get to influence that just because you feel like it should be done a different way. That leads us to number two.

2: You want something that you’re not getting.

This is going to seem a bit harsh, but it’s a very real possibility and potentially something that needs to be wrestled with. In some circumstances, there are people that perceive, for whatever the reason, that the church leadership is not giving them the authority or influence that they feel they deserve. Typically this is the result of the person having attended for a significant amount of time or having held lower lay-leader positions (small group leader, kids church class leader, etc.). Whatever the case, the person feels like they’ve gown to a level of maturity or leadership that their church leaders should recognize and reward with increased leadership. When that doesn’t happen, all of the sudden the church is “doing it wrong.”

This is a pride issue. If this is the case, then maybe maturity hasn’t been achieved in any great measure and maybe you haven’t gained the leadership traits you thought you had. When this happens and the person doesn’t seek God and wise counsel to deal with it, the result can play out in a couple ways:

1) The discontent member simply complains to other members. This just creates dissension, disharmony and disunity. This is no good. In fact, in Proverbs 6:19 God identifies “one who sows discord among brothers” as one of the seven sins that are an abomination. At the minimum it creates tension within the congregation. Worse case, if the person is someone that people will follow, it detracts from others’ relationship with God and that’s how church splits happen. I’ve seen churches that were started as a result of anger, pride and discontentment; they aren’t healthy and typically don’t last.

2) The discontent member stews in his/her discontentment until they can’t take it anymore and decide they need to leave. Typically they leave by sending the lead pastor a scathing letter/email written “in love,” but really it has no love in it anywhere. After that they leave and begin attending a new church that has an almost identical model as the one they left. In no time the person is discontent with the way that the new church is “doing” it and they’re looking to change them or they leave. Sometimes they get the idea to start a church of their own, but again, they typically aren’t healthy and don’t last.

So what do you do, then? Talk with others. But talk with them in healthy ways. Be honest that you’re discontent with something, but you’re not clear on what. Seek God. Pray, read the bible and journal. Let God clarify for you. And He will. He promises that if we draw close to Him, He’ll draw close to us. Continue to joyfully serve where you’re at. If you’re serving God and others, no one, not even you, will benefit from you being angry with something that you’re not clear on. If you just can’t get passed it, maybe consider stepping out of whatever roll you’re serving in and take a season of simply attending and seeking.

After that, if God is calling you to something new, awesome. It’s so exciting and scary and amazing and God is bigger than any of that. New things are God’s thing and you can leave a church well, with the church’s blessing. But remember, the most important thing you can do for God is be obedient in where He currently has you and the most important ministry you’ll ever serve in, is the one you’re currently serving in; be there joyfully.

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Why the Relationship v. Religion Debate Matters

April 24, 2015 / / 2 Comments

Religion RelationshipIt wasn’t until the last few years that I even knew that this was actually a thing. I’ve spent most of my Christian life naively assuming that as long as I was a Christian, I was good for heaven. I figured that if I did my religious duty of going to church and participating in our community service projects then I could claim to know Jesus. Relationship wasn’t something that was talked about outside of the invitation “to know Jesus” at the end of every sermon. Even then, “if you want a personal relationship with Jesus” was just part of the invitation “script.” There was never really anything beyond that which defined what relationship would or should look like. Knowing why they’re different is important and it may just be the difference between hearing Jesus say, “I never knew you; depart from me” or “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

On the surface, the recipe for a relationship with God hinges on the same foundation that our other relationships are built on; communication. There are a bunch of other things that build healthy relationships, but in the last few years I’ve learned that communication helps build and solidify those other things necessary for a solid relationship. Trust, passion, dedication, loyalty, commitment, service and even love, are all impacted and built with good communication. If you’re married or dating, you could never justify having a good relationship with your other if you never talked with them. If the last words you said to your spouse was “I do” chances are they aren’t your spouse any more or they won’t be soon. That’s a whole other blog, but if that’s you, start talking with them. Yet, we do that with God. And then we pretend that to “know” Him and worse, that we are actually “following” Him. But if we’re honest, we don’t and we’re not.

The original intent of the Apostles teaching was not to turn following Jesus it into a set of rules. Following rules requires little in the area of commitment to a person and absolute dedication to a system. The very reason that Jesus chastised the religious leaders, during His ministry, was because they had turned relationship with God the Father, into a system of over 600 rules that you had to follow to be “right” with God. That’s a near, if not completely, impossible task for anyone. What God intended for us was a religion that was built purely on relationship. That’s why throughout the Old Testament He said things like, “You will be My people, and I shall be your God.” It was about being connected to each other, not a system of rules.

Traditionally Church has pushed religion as a means of building relationship. On the surface that doesn’t seem like a bad thing. Early in your relationship with Jesus, systems are important. We set disciplined times to read and pray, attend church and fellowship with other Christians. Where we go wrong is when we accept that as Christianity. All of the sudden we’re in a system of rules that alleviate the need to build relationship. It becomes, do this and you’ll be a follower of Jesus. Say this and you’re forgiven. Don’t do this, because you’re Christian now and Christians don’t do that. Go to church. Wish that you prayed and read the bible more. The list of rules goes on and on.

Religion is about you and it coerces you into trying harder so that you can be a better person. The problem with that is you can become so tied up in doing the hard work of being better that you forget why you’re trying to be better. And because there’s always a version of you that can be better, you get caught in a cycle of never being good enough. Eventually you become worn out and quit, or worse, you become disconnected from the original reason that you started, all the while believing that you’re “doing it.”

But relationship is different. If we would view our early systems similar to what we do when we’re beginning a new relationship, then we cultivate authenticity. As we spend time with another person we learn, and even take on, their mannerisms and sayings. We allow our beliefs to be influenced because we want to be inline with that person. The same happens with Jesus. As we spend time in prayer, reading the bible, spending time with other Christians, the Holy Spirit begins to cultivate authentic change in us. It become about character transformation, rather than behavior modification. Relationship says, I won’t do that because it offends or hurts you. I’ll give that up, because you’re more important. I’ll do that because it pleases you and shows that I value you. Then, out of no where, you’re relationship is your religion.

Relationship, on the other hand, is about others and it compels you to cultivate interactions that display love better. As you do the work of building relationships you begin to look for cultivation opportunities. And because there’s always the ability to love better, you become engaged in a cycle that puts you in the position to love more people better.

I don’t want to sound like there isn’t work required in both; there is. But isn’t the work that makes them different, it’s the result of the work that does; one points to you and the one points to others. The nuance here is that one doesn’t need Jesus to do the work and the other starts with Him and can only be achieved through Him.

So, how do you build a relationship with Jesus. Simple, but not easy:

1. Spend time with God. Pray and read the bible, get a devotional, memorize verses, just spend time with Him

2. Spend time with other believers. Eat, celebrate, grieve, worship, pray, sing and be with each other. Iron sharpens iron and that sharpening happens in community with other believers.

3. Spend time with unbelievers. Once you start following Jesus, you’ll start to see things different. The people you saw before, become completely different. You can learn a ton from unbelievers. We get to hear people’s needs, their hopes, and disappointments. I’ve found that people who aren’t followers of Jesus, don’t feel like they have to make it look like everything in life is great; it makes them a little more honest and raw about what their needs are.

Relationship should build your religion until your religion is relationship.

~ Tweet This ~

Jesus said, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” That happens in relationship. Relationship should build your religion until your religion is relationship.

Keep YOUR Gospel to Yourself.

April 22, 2015 / / 5 Comments

On Monday we began hearing stories about an “anti-gay day” organized by some of the students at McGuffey High School in Claysville, Pennsylvania. Since then there have been so many news reports, article, and blogs. The district administration has also supposedly initiated an investigation into allegations of harassment that accompanied some of the “protest.”

The fact that these kids organized a protest doesn’t bother me. I spent two decades in the military to help ensure people are able to freely voice themselves, no matter how narrow minded and bigoted it is. What bothers me is this:

Anti-gay day pic

The fact that they used the cross as a symbol of being anti-gay. I’m kind of getting tired of writing this, mainly to people that call themselves Christians. The fact that this ignorant kid used the cross as a symbol of hate, infuriates me. The cross is a symbol of forgiveness. It’s on the cross that Jesus died to destroy the very thing that this kid is using it to represent: hate.

WHERE’S THE LAW THAT PROTECTS MY RELIGION FROM HATEFUL PEOPLE RUINING IT? ~ TWEET THIS ~

If you read the buzzfeed.com article, it even says that the participating students Instagramed scripture verses and tagged students that they knew are gay. I couldn’t find that anywhere else, but if you can’t believe BuzzFeed, who can you believe? Regardless, even if there’s a sliver of truth to that, this picture still remains. I’m absolutely exhausted from the amount of anger and frustration caused by people, pretending to be Christian, using the Word of God, that was meant to draw people to Him, as a tool to perpetuate their hate. Where’s the law that protects my religion from hateful people ruining it.

To the LBGTQ students at McGuffey High and every other high school that will no doubt have idiots that pick up this idea,

I’m sorry. That’s not my Jesus. That’s hate and Jesus isn’t hate. In fact He’s love. He not only loves you, He IS love. I know there are some harsh verses in the bible and people use them to call you all sorts of horrible things, but they’re ignorant and not taking the whole of the bible for what God said or intended. They’re cherry picking what suits their cause, not God’s. What these students did is the youth equivalent to the Westboro Baptist bullies and it’s disgusting.

Jesus would NEVER condone this type of behavior. I wonder what might happen if Jesus were still walking the earth and a group of people threw a gay man or woman at His feet. I imagine it would probably gonthe same way it went with the adulteress. He would say, “Whoever here is without sin, throw the first stone.” Then He would eat with them, at the disgust of the religious. I’d go to that dinner party.

Please, for the love of my God, if you’re anti-gay, stop using my religion as a means of hurting and hating people. Figure out another way and leave Jesus out of it. Because, when it comes down to it, you’re not really Christians. If you were, you’d know the bible is pro-God and God is pro-people. If He wasn’t, there’d be no cross.

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