Author: Bruce Pagano II (Page 21 of 51)

Bruce Pagano is a blogger and podcaster living in the Treasure Valley area of Idaho. He is married and has four children, a retired US military veteran, a licensed clinical professional counselor, and has over 14 years of ministerial leadership experience. Most of his writing focuses on manhood, leadership, relationships, and faith issues. His writing can be found at www.brucepagano.com and his podcast at www.foldingchairtheology.com.

Does God Ever Forsake Us?

abandoned

A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend and he was lamenting about how he feels distant from God. He confessed, “I know the Bible says God will never leave or forsake us, but He departed from Israel a number of times. He even forsook Jesus on the Cross.”

Whoa, there is a lot to consider in that statement. There are many reasons that we may feel that way. Undoubtedly, my friend is not the only one that has considered this.

I have also felt this. There was a time that I was convinced that God had abandoned me. In 2008, shortly after moving to Wyoming, my now ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce.

Her decision came out of nowhere. She wasted no time in leaving. I was devastated, angry and hurt. I could not understand why God “let” this happen. I did not feel I deserved this. I believed I was a good Christian. I was in church more than the average attender. In that moment I felt forsaken. My family was not nearby and I did not have close friends. God never seemed further away than He did during that time in my life.

However, God is merciful. In His Grace He quickly made Himself visible through different events and by bringing specific people into my life. It was not long before I was able to see I did not feel the distance because He left me, but because I had turned my back on Him.

I realized I had not wanted God involved in the selfish and hurtful decisions I was making in my life and marriage. It was easier to turn and pretend that God was not there. In hindsight, I am able to see how He pursued me.

I want to share some of what I have learned regarding God’s promise to not forsake us.

Free Will, Not Forsaken

Over the centuries a popular debate in the church has been the doctrine of free will. To oversimplify it, one side of the argument is that we get to choose everything we do, including whether we choose God. The other side of the debate suggests that we are predestined in our decision to follow God, which eliminates much of our free will. I’m not going to go any deeper with this topic at this time, but if you are interested, Robin Schumacher wrote a great article for The Christian Post on free will.

I would suggest that believing God has forsaken us, in any circumstance, is a poor indicator for whether He actually has. It is more an indicator of what we have chosen. Schumacher makes this point, “Our desires and our nature/character determine our choices, but we are never forced to act contrary to that nature/character so in that respect, we freely express ourselves through the choices we make.”

In that context, when I believed God had abandoned me, I was feeling the reality of the distance from Him which I had created. God was still present and actively pursuing me. I was the one making choices that put distance between us.

Schumacher continues by saying, “But where God is concerned, our sinful desire freely rejects God until He chooses to regenerate the dead, sinful nature in us and draw us to Himself. Once that happens, and we are set free from sin’s control, we are truly free indeed!”

To that end, the grief and frustration that I felt because of that distance was because God, in His gracious and merciful pursuit of me, was regenerating my dead, sinful nature and drawing me to Himself.

But what about the Christian who is already actively following Christ? What about when she or he feels forsaken? My belief is those moments are a reflection and result of our desire and nature to be drawn to the world.

Any feeling of being forsaken is the pain of distance, from God, that we create when we allow our desires and nature to move us toward the world and away from God. That feeling is a result of our soul longing for closeness to God and is the premise of God’s promise to “Draw near to [Him], and He will draw near to you.”

Forsaken to Keep His Promise

If it’s true that God never leaves us, and any distance we feel is a byproduct of the choices we make, why is it that Jesus was forsaken by God while He was on the Cross? It was so God could keep his promise.

The Cross of Jesus accomplished everything we needed with regard to our total reconciliation and redemption. Isaiah 53 tells us that all of our shortcomings and brokenness are made whole in the work Jesus did on the Cross. It is in the trial, whipping, crucifixion, death that Jesus faced and defeated all the things that would ever affect us. It is in His work that we are healed, acknowledged, forgiven, made new, made righteous, receive justice and are reconciled to the heart of God. But it is also in that work that the ability to never again be separated from God, should we seek after and follow Him, was granted to us.

Prior to His death on the Cross, Jesus “cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?’ (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)” Jesus was reciting Psalms 22, and in doing so confirmed that God forsook Him at that moment. Why? Biblical scholars have much to say about that and we could dive deep into their commentaries. However, let’s consider this as simply as possible, because I believe the Gospel, in and of itself, is simple.

It is because He took our place. In the same way in which He took our place in paying for our sin, so we would not have to pay, He accepted separation from God so we would not have to experience that.

Jesus was forsaken by God, while on the Cross, so that He could keep the promise He made in Matthew 28:20b, that He is “with you always, to the end of the age.” In Hebrews 13:5 God promises “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Jesus forsaken by God allows that promise to stand for all eternity.

God never leaves us. Jesus experienced this so we would never again know the infinite dread of being separated from our Father. When we begin to feel abandoned, take heart in knowing that it is your soul responding to the wooing of God to draw near to Him.

So gather with other Believers. Seek God together through prayer and scripture. Hide in your prayer closet and sit silent before Him. But know that He will never leave or forsake you.

Are We Allowed to Doubt God?

doubtThe Dialogue of Doubt

We doubt. We question. We struggle to trust. It began in the Garden. The serpent led Eve to doubt God. Perhaps doubt existed before the fall because it is what led to it. Doubt is part of our nature. Maybe it is part of free will; our ability to choose what we believe and who we trust? Even God is not immune to our doubt.

I’ve had seasons of doubt. Long ones. I’ve questioned God. What was He doing? Why was I suffering, and why did He allow certain things to happen? Did He hear my prayers? And if He heard my prayers, why was He ignoring them? I’ve known many people who have walked through similar seasons. My friends, my wife, my family, pastors, and ministry leaders have all struggled with doubt. When we begin to doubt, we are quick to believe that our doubt is unbiblical. This leads to guilt and more doubt.

Part of this increase in doubt is prompted by the abundance of Christian clichés that are flung at us (and by us) in well-meaning moments. While some of these clichés may be biblically true, they are generally spoken when we don’t know what else to say about your struggle. And we find ourselves at a loss on how to speak to your doubt. Because we may doubt also.

Comments like “God has a plan,” “Everything happens for a reason,” “If God brings you to it, He’ll see you through it,” “When God closes one door, He opens another,” “Just give it to Jesus,” “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” and the list goes on. If you say these things, stop it. Seriously, some of these comments are not even supported by Scripture. All of these sayings only add to the anxiety and guilt of doubting a God that most of us already know to be a good God.

So, are we allowed to doubt God? I will remind you of the story of the disciple Thomas who told the other disciples that he would not believe that Jesus was alive unless he saw Him with his own eyes. He did see and he did believe. Be encouraged, Thomas spent three years with Jesus and still struggled with doubt. So the simple answer is, yes you can doubt and it will not disqualify you as a follower of Jesus.

Believer’s Doubt

But a better story, one that distinguishes between our different types of unbelief and doubt takes place in Mark 9. In this story a man comes to Jesus and asks Him to heal his demon-afflicted son after Jesus’ disciples are not able. The man tells Jesus that the affliction is so bad that the evil spirits routinely throw his son into water and fire in an attempt to destroy him. In coming to Jesus this father says, “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” To which Jesus answered, “‘If you can! All things are possible for one who believes.” Then the father makes a declaration that screams to our soul and rips through the heart of the matter. He cries out, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

It is in this father’s cry to God where many of us hear our own. We find a brother who believes and knows that Jesus is the One who can meet our deepest needs. It is his belief that brings him to Jesus. In the same cry we see his doubt that his son can be healed, even though he believes Who Jesus is. Like many of us, he struggles with his knowledge of who Jesus is and the truth of his son’s affliction.

Belief is the Victor

Undoubtedly he witnessed Jesus and His disciples healing others. This firsthand, or potentially secondhand, knowledge of Jesus’ ability had sunk deep enough into his heart that he was drawn to Jesus. Standing in front of the One that heals, his belief in Jesus ran hard into the wall of truth that was his son’s life-long illness. Belief met unbelief – and belief was the victor.

His unbelief didn’t keep him from Jesus. His inability to know for sure if his son would receive relief did not keep the man from asking Jesus to heal his son. He still approached Jesus, still asked, and still hoped in Him. Not only did he trust Jesus to deal with his son’s affliction of evil spirits, he asked Jesus to deal with his own affliction of unbelief. Jesus obliged both requests.

Two things I want to clarify.

Asking Jesus to do something doesn’t warrant it being done. For reasons beyond all of us, the answer may be “no.” An answer of “no” does not change who He is. We don’t follow Jesus for the things He can do for us, we follow Him to be close to Him.

Our belief in God and our struggle with doubting His active participation in our life are two separate things. Our struggles and questions of circumstance-based doubt does not signal our rejection of who Jesus is or God’s goodness. We can fully rest in our knowledge of Who He is and still ask all of our where, when, how and why questions. We can still struggle with feelings of doubt and know He still is in control. Doubt in dire circumstance does not disqualify us from anything in His Kingdom, especially following Him. God knows our weakness. He knows our propensity to doubt and struggle with unbelief. He knows our heart.

I encourage you that while we all experience doubt and unbelief, we should, in the midst of our weakness say: “I believe; help my unbelief!”

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Top 5 Posts for 2015

Top 5

photo credit: theodysseyonline.com

It’s here, the end of 2015. And what a year it was. So much happened this year for the me and my family. Here’s a rundown:

  • I left my job at Walmart to work for the Department of the Army at Arlington National Cemetery. It was pretty awesome and a huge honor.
  • My oldest son graduated high school. I know I don’t look it, but I’m the parent of an adult person!
  • The church we we’re helping build in Alexandria organized a neighborhood outdoor movie night. That may not seem huge, but it was its legit outdoor movie equipment and that’s how I spent most of my summer Friday nights.
  • I launched The Whole Man. I’ve met so many awesome people through it.
  • We decided to up and move to Boise, ID. So, I quit my awesome job and packed a moving van and off we went. God did a lot of work to get us to the point where we accepted it.
  • My adult son moved to the Seattle area, near his mom, to pursue college. So no we’re down to two kids in the house.
  • MY BABY GIRL TURNED ONE! Please make it stop.
  • I became a podcast co-host. Me and a couple friends launched a new podcast called The (G)odd Show. It’s so cool. You should check it out.
  • I received my first rejection for a book proposal. It was a little brutal and stung. Not so much here or here, but right in this area.
  • Oh, and I quit my Master of Divinity program. I have no idea what I’m doing.

So that was our year. In addition to that I had some great responses to the articles I put out on The Whole Man. Here’s the top five.

5. 2 Reasons why you still haven’t found what you’re looking for.

As “blog launch day” has drawn near, I really struggled with what to write for the inaugural TWM post. There’s so many ways I could have gone, but a lot of what I thought to say about this site is already in the MANifestio (should be done in the next week or so), so it didn’t seem helpful to just rewrite it here. But then I thought about the one thing that connects all of us. It’s something that Hollywood has known for so long and has exploited to make fists full of dollars selling kiddie pool deep rom-coms. [Read More]

4. Two Truths About Not Being “In Love”

I would venture to guess that one of the most commonly used reasons for ending marriages in our culture is “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you anymore.” It’s the ready-made answer for ending the marriage that no longer meets our needs and desires. I confess that I am 100% guilty of saying this in the past. [Read More]

3. How We Got, “Wives, submit to your own husbands…” Wrong.

This past week my wife asked me, “Why is it that everyone talks about what Biblical manhood should look like, but hardly comparatively, anyone talks about Biblical womanhood?

Good question. Maybe because we mess it up more. [Read More]

2. He said, “Tell Her How You Know.”

I had always wanted a newspaper route. I thought it would be cool. Having my own money to spend only made it more desirable. I was 11 when my parents agreed to let me deliver papers. It was hard work. I got up every day at 4:00 am and hauled my bound stack of daily news into the dining room. There I would roll and stuff each one into a plastic sleeve and place it into the double-sided pocket carrier. Once all the newspapers were packed, I would sling the heavy carrier over my head and rest its weight on my shoulders. Each morning I headed out into the dark, snow-covered, streets of my neighborhood. It was hard work, but I loved doing it. [Read More]

1. Do I Need to Confess My Adultery?

A few years ago, I was counseling a guy who had been hiding his affair from his wife. He had long since ended contact with the other woman, and even confessed his affair to a chaplain friend. However, he continued to hide the truth from his wife. On the day he confessed the affair to me, he was in the midst of struggling with the need to confess to his wife. I wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t confessed to his wife, or that he was struggling with whether or not to do so. [Read More]

So there you have it, the Top 5 posts from The Whole Man for 2015. I’m super excited about 2016 and what Boise holds for us. See you in the new year!

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